Animal Tazers

I need one of these for when I go running and that mini-dobie comes after me each f---ing time. Okay. I'm just kidding. Really. No. Wait. I'm not. I hate that evil Mini-dobie that bit me twice. I'd totally tazer her ass... Except that I'm a lover not a fighter... So, I wouldn't tazer her... But I'd think about it...

Or maybe it would just be a good punishment for those who abuse animals. Right?

Oh, and Ms. Mini-dobie? If you're reading this? Let me point out that humans are animals too, and you find it sport to chase and bite me. Technically, you're abusing an animal - me. So, I wouldn't get all excited just yet about me limiting it to animal abusers....